Just Close Your Eyes, The Sun Is Going Down
by Riveted
Summary: The last thing she remembers is pressing send.    Aftermath of the car crash.  Quinn centric


The last thing she remembers is pressing send. And the feeling of her stomach dropping because that text essentially gives her approval. She's bowing down and letting Rachel and Finn's idiotic plan for marriage win. Despite how vehemently she opposes this she has to let Rachel be happy. And she had asked her, hadn't she? Rachel said she loved Finn, not _anyone _else.

Then there is searing pain on her left side.

Blackness.

Noises fade in and out. Screams, the scent of burnt tires, the feeling of broken glass imbedded in her skin. And pain. White hot pain that makes her want to writhe in agony. Just as she panics, realizing she can't move her legs, merciful unconsciousness takes her away.

_She's on her back, seeing bright sunlight streaming through her lashes. She smiles lazily and stretches. Quinn glances to her side and sees she is on a perfect grass covered hill, shaded by a large oak tree whose branches and leaves protect her from the sun. She sinks back down into the warm grass and sighs. Quinn Fabray is utterly content and at peace. She wishes she could stay here. Forever._

"_Really?"_

_Quinn jerks up in surprise, eyes widening as she shifts her weight to her hands, half sitting up. She cringes at the sight in front of her. The girl is young, thirteen or fourteen, with light brown hair, bad acne, glasses, and a nervous smile. She's chubby, trying to hide the fact with a loose sweatshirt and sweat pants. Lucy waves shyly and slowly sits down ten paces from her, hugging her knees to her chest. Quinn's eyebrows furrow and she bites her lip, trying to reign in her tumultuous emotions._

"_I got rid of you," she blurts out without thinking. The other girl glances up in suprise, hurt gleaming brightly in her hazel eyes. _

"_Sorry," Lucy mumbles sadly. "I wish I was gone too." Quinn blows air out of her mouth loudly and leans forward, rubbing her face with her hands. _

"_What are you doing here?"_

_Quinn peeks through her fingers as the other girl shifts uncomfortably and adjusts the glasses slipping off the bridge of her nose. _

"_You know why."_

_She pulls her face from her hands and frowns. She stares into calm hazel and forgets that Lucy has gotten a bit closer than before. _

"_The accident," she whispers like she just said something filthy._

_Lucy nods slowly, an encouraging smile curling her lips._

"_Yeah. You got in a nasty fender bender. So you're here now." _

_Quinn tilts her head to the side, confusion etched clearly on her face._

"_I don't understand."_

_Lucy smile curls a bit downward until her expression is neutral. She presses her lips together, hard enough that her mouth become a pale line. _

"_This is all fake. You know that. I've- I mean- you have seen enough movies about this sort of thing." _

"_I don't know what you're talking about," Quinn practically growls. But she feels her stomach dropping. She must be dead then. Or really close to dying. In that moment so many things flit through her mind. Images, thoughts, memories, emotions. It's corny but her life literally passes before her eyes. Frankly it's a sad and depressing existence full of self-loathing, suppression, and regret. But the ending filled her with hope. She was getting into Yale, she was going to win the Cheerios one last championship, she was going to get out of Lima. She was going to set everything right. _

"_This is unfair," she whispers hoarsely, tears filling her eyes. Quinn feels warm fingertips brush wetness from her lashes and she leans into the gentle touch. _

"_I'm sorry."_

_She sniffles a few times as she pulls away from the hand, wiping at her eyes with the heel of her left hand. She stops caring about the fact that Lucy is right there next to her, her horrible past sitting next to her equally horrible present. _

_There's silence for awhile, the only sound being the whistling of a gentle breeze going through the tree branches, creating new patterns of sunlight on their heads. Quinn falls on her back and gazes at the great expanse of blue sky and rolling hills, obscured slightly by the dark tree limbs. _

"_I thought you were going to yell at me," Lucy murmurs thoughtfully as they stare at the peacefulness that they had never experienced in all of their lives. _

"_I-I was going to. If I wasn't mature enough I probably would have yelled at you for being here, making me miserable in my last moments... but it's not your fault." She laughs quietly. "Am I schizophrenic or something? I am having a conversation with myself!" _

_She hears a shocked inhale to her right and she turns curiously. She gazes kindly into Lucy's- no, her own- eyes and she smiles. _

"_If I die or maybe I'm already dead, I want to set this thing straight. My name is," she pauses swallowing nervously at the name that she had been trying to forget and suppress, "_Lucy _Quinn Fabray. You are me." _

"_Quinn."_

_She turns back to staring at the sky, her eyes becoming pensive as she holds a hand up to her face, shielding it from the light. _

"_I need to ... accept all parts of me. I've done so many things, hurt so many people. I have to move on and try to make the best of what I am." _

_She is silently watched by herself as she laughs bitterly._

"_I was a chubby little kid. I am controlling. I let other people change me to be what they wanted of me. I used my words and my new body to shut everybody out. I said terrible things to my friends and family. I cheated on people. I said things that I didn't mean. I am a coward."_

_A weight feels like it's been lifted off her chest and she grins triumphantly at this wonderful release. _

"_You forgot one." _

_Quinn turns and physically recoils as she sees Rachel Berry gazing steadily back at her. _

"_R-Rachel." _

_She knows it isn't really her. But the image is so _real_, and the reaction of her own body is so visceral. Her heart pounds in her ears, her hands get clammy and her mouth feels dry. She feels a bit of resentment at how that girl can elicit such a strong reaction from her. But her mind goes totally blank when a soft tan hand reaches forward and cups her cheek._

"_Can you say it?"_

"_Say what?"_

"_That you love me?" Even though it's fake and she probably is really in some hospital dying or six feet under, the way that the soft light of spring tinges this Rachel's cheeks and the well remembered scent of strawberry body spray covers her makes Quinn want to sob. _

"_Why would you ask that of me?" she asks brokenly, "You're getting married. What difference would it make?"_

_Teeth nibble thoughtfully on a plump lower lip. Quinn watches the action hungrily._

"_Because you need to say it more than I need to hear it." _

_She is still, soaking in those words that simultaneously cut her and save her. In this crazy fantasy she will be given closure. With her chin quivering she leans into the touch and tenderly kisses a warm palm._

"_I love you, Rachel Berry," she breathes into the hand. A finger trails gently along her jaw. Then there is silence. Wonderful beautiful silence. And peace. She glances at a bashful Rachel whose eyes gleam with happiness. She feels wonderful because she put that look on this girl's face. She created that shy wonder._

"_I have to go Quinn." Soft brown eyes burn into hers. She nods her head reluctantly but her lips are still pressed hard into Rachel's hand and Rachel still is stroking her cheek with a loving fingertip. _

"_May I do something?" she inquires, her breath hitching at the sudden burst of courage. Because even in this unreal place, playing out her deepest desire is unnervingly difficult. _

"_Yes?"_

_Quinn Fabray leans forward and presses her lips against Rachel's. And it's beautiful. After three years of longing the aching in her chest swells. Hungrily she applies more pressure and combs a hand through the girl's dark brown hair. She feels Rachel's lips curl into a loving smile and she almost cries as she is pushed onto her back. They break apart for a moment and stare into each other's eyes. She brings her hands up and places them on Rachel's hips. _

"_Do you think she would have loved me? If I had done this to her in real life?" she asks with a desperate urgency. Like her life depends on the question. The girl reveals a lopsided smile that never was Rachel's. The fantasy is breaking. _

"_I don't think I can answer that."_

_She nods in acceptance and lets her hands drop._

"_Will I die now?" _

"_I don't know."_

"_Will I live now?"_

"_I don't know."_

_She lets out a shuddery breath as Rachel leans forward, her breasts pressed flush against her as she presses her lips tenderly against Quinn's temple. Then they drop down to the shell of her ear. _

"_You can stay or go. If you stay you'll leave and forget everything. You can finally attain true peace. But, if you go you will have to face the repercussions of such a terrible car crash. You'll be forced to fight to regain everything you will have lost." Quinn twists her head so that there is barely a sliver of air between them. She places a chaste kiss on Rachel's lips. _

_And then Lucy Quinn Fabray is all alone._

_**A/N**_I might write a sequel to this but I just needed to write something about that car crash. Listening to angsty music and having a word document created this thing. I hope you enjoyed it!


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